Mareyuez

A first rough draft of a section in a story I’m working on.

“My fault…my fault they left me. Maybe I was just a bad girlfriend all along. Just a bad friend….Even Erik said I gave him a hard time. Maybe I was just always like that. Giving the people I dated a hard time. Giving my friends a hard time…Giving everyone a hard time.
Maybe I should have spoken more often. Maybe I should have started conversations. Even Erik gets mad I can’t start conversations. Maybe it’s my fault….all my fault. Maybe I should have tried harder…who would want to be friends with me anyways. Why even bother trying…they all end up leaving anyways.”

“I’m trying but I feel like it’s not enough…I hate being a shy, quiet girl. No one wants that…they have always complained about me being this way…it’s my fault…I’m sorry it’s my fault…I guess being nice and a sweetheart isn’t enough…”

“what if in the end they don’t like me. What if I show up and I’m not what they expected. Just a big disappointment. It’s like I’m 2 different people. What if they don’t like me…but prefer her. Maybe she’s more outgoing. Maybe she talks more. Maybe she laughs more. Maybe she’s an extrovert unlike me. And everyone like’s extroverts. Not introverts like me….maybe it is best I’m just alone. No one will blame me anymore…”